The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

NB The following may be ported to most driving games.
The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

1.1 Players must select the same vehicle on any track, provided said track has grass banks or gravel traps.

1.2 Drinks must be able to be consumed through a straw to completion, while Gameplay is taking place. Sellotaption, or sticky-back-plasticisation, of several straws together must occur if necessary.

1.3 During Gameplay, players must drink continuously while they are applying brakes, or are veering off the designated track.

1.4 The game may not be paused for any reason. If a player's drink is depleted, he/she must restock while the game continues. He/she may not accelerate during this period.

1.5 The winner has to be presented with the winner's trophy, which is a shot (ideally in a miniature trophy), concocted by the losing player, of any combination of alcoholic beverages, and edible solids.

The Official Rules of Drinking Scrabble

1.0 Scrabble is a trademark of Hasbro in the United States of America, and Mattel elsewhere. Neither company endorses or encourages the enjoyment of Scrabble as described herein.

1.1 Tiles are distributed to each player as per the rules.

1.2 For every five points a player scores, they must imbibe a finger or equivalent pre-determined unit of alcohol.

1.3 Bonus squares are to be encouraged and carry over to each turn and may be used more than once per game, contrary to the official rules of the game.

1.4 Players may, and should, conspire with each other to obtain the highest score possible in order to increase intoxication, and overall wordplay.

1.5 Disputed words that do not appear in standard dictionaries, but are in common use among players or their peers, or that appear in the Urban Dictionary, are to be encouraged, especially if they yield the highest amount of points in that turn.

James Yuill announces a new album

London "folktronica" (i know - wanky genre names abound) artist James Yuill has just announced that he is releasing a new album in June. Movement in a Storm will be his third release through Moshi Moshi.

The Egodeity really likes this guy, and hopes he can bring his blend of computer experimentation, along with a ear for a acoustic melody to a wider audience this year.

Any more news will follow, but in the mean time, I posted an mp3 of a song (The White Crow) from his debut album here, to give you a taste of his stuff.

The Official Rules of Drinking Pro Evolution Soccer (or Drinking Pro Evo)

(NB This is for the Playstation version of Pro Evolution Soccer. It should be easy enough to transfer to other versions)

1.1 Matches are decided over two legs, with away goals, and penalty shoot outs if necessary.

1.2 Both players pick a random team by holding the Square button while looking at each other and counting to three, letting go of Square at the same time ON three.

1.3 When two teams are selected, the strips must be selected to be as similar as possible (eg two predominantly white strips, if possible).

1.4 The lineups must be the default selections, and remain so over the two legs, with no substitutions, or tactical adjustments permitted.

2.1 During Gameplay, before the start of each half, at the final whistle, and any stoppage in play, a drink must be consumed. A player may not continue until his/her drink is consumed, and returned to it's resting surface.

2.2 The game cannot be paused for any reason. If a player pauses for any reason, they must immediately consume two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit), while the game continues to be played by their opponent.

2.2.1 If a player's drink is depleted, he/she must restock while the game continues in their absence. Any opportunities to drink that an absent player missed must be honoured with two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit).

2.3 Any time a player concedes a goal, they must consume two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit).

3.1 The winner after two legs has to be presented with the winner's trophy, which is a shot (ideally in a miniature trophy), concocted by the losing player, of any combination of alcoholic beverages, and edible solids.

3.2 The victory must be captured in visual record for historical posterity.

4.1 The match is replayed with different teams, selected at random (holding L1 and Square and counting to three, cf rule 1.2), and continued ad nauseam ad infinitum.

Quentin Letts is one of the better writers in the Mail, which, i know isn't actually saying much. His snide gossipy columns on the day-to-days inside the Palace of Westminster are some of the closest things I have encountered to intelligent right wing opinion. Today, he was writing a sketch about the Westminster village having some websites blocked, including a joke site that compared Tony and Cherie Blair to a horse's arse. However, the Mail Online sub editors obviously feared the wrath of their dictator boss, Paul Dacre, because the wrote the address of the website with spaces in it, so it wouldn't be picked up as a link. Heaven forfend that the Mail should be seen to be responsible for a traffic spike to http://www.filthyjokes.freeserve.co.uk/.