On the whole Top Gear-Mexico thing

I watched the recent offending episode of Top Gear, where the usually entertaining Clarkson and May were joined by Hammond, offered their insights into a new Mexican car, and wondered aloud who would want a Mexican car? Fair question; Mexico doesn't exactly have a proud history of motor manufacturing - so who would shell out money in recessionary times for a Mexican car? I was expecting the follow up comments to be jocular car-related rants about the ineptitude of their cars handling, or something similar. Instead I was treated to five minutes of second hand stereotyping. Second hand in that commentary on the work ethics of Mexicans is entirely derived from America, since Britain does not have a significant Mexican community on which to base such frivilous assertions.

Auntie has defended this by saying that exploiting stereotypes for honour form a large part of British comedy. This is true, and when middle of the road comedians are making jokes at the expense of the French (they're rude!) and Germans (towels on the deck chairs!), it can be passed off as banter, mainly because these countries have long histories with each other. Further evidence could be gleaned from Boris Becker's interview later in the show, where he revelled in the accusations of efficiency. But to simply poach a hackneyed cliche from a different culture and ring every unfunny drop out of it, just for the sake of picking a fight (which it appeared was what they were doing) is just, ironically enough, lazy.

Top Gear has definitively jumped the shark (I would say when they started getting guests like Tom Cruise on it, rather than the usual blend of mid table actors and washed up rock stars, although the unmasking of the Stig debacle probably didn't help) and this is probably another piece of timber for the coffin, but let's hope they can get back on track and make the show we love again. I refer you to the feature where they challenged the Australian Top Gear presenters with Ashes jokes and reckless manoeuvring in oversized vehicles - more of this kind of childishness please!

The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

NB The following may be ported to most driving games.
The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

1.1 Players must select the same vehicle on any track, provided said track has grass banks or gravel traps.

1.2 Drinks must be able to be consumed through a straw to completion, while Gameplay is taking place. Sellotaption, or sticky-back-plasticisation, of several straws together must occur if necessary.

1.3 During Gameplay, players must drink continuously while they are applying brakes, or are veering off the designated track.

1.4 The game may not be paused for any reason. If a player's drink is depleted, he/she must restock while the game continues. He/she may not accelerate during this period.

1.5 The winner has to be presented with the winner's trophy, which is a shot (ideally in a miniature trophy), concocted by the losing player, of any combination of alcoholic beverages, and edible solids.

The Official Rules of Drinking Scrabble

1.0 Scrabble is a trademark of Hasbro in the United States of America, and Mattel elsewhere. Neither company endorses or encourages the enjoyment of Scrabble as described herein.

1.1 Tiles are distributed to each player as per the rules.

1.2 For every five points a player scores, they must imbibe a finger or equivalent pre-determined unit of alcohol.

1.3 Bonus squares are to be encouraged and carry over to each turn and may be used more than once per game, contrary to the official rules of the game.

1.4 Players may, and should, conspire with each other to obtain the highest score possible in order to increase intoxication, and overall wordplay.

1.5 Disputed words that do not appear in standard dictionaries, but are in common use among players or their peers, or that appear in the Urban Dictionary, are to be encouraged, especially if they yield the highest amount of points in that turn.

James Yuill announces a new album

London "folktronica" (i know - wanky genre names abound) artist James Yuill has just announced that he is releasing a new album in June. Movement in a Storm will be his third release through Moshi Moshi.

The Egodeity really likes this guy, and hopes he can bring his blend of computer experimentation, along with a ear for a acoustic melody to a wider audience this year.

Any more news will follow, but in the mean time, I posted an mp3 of a song (The White Crow) from his debut album here, to give you a taste of his stuff.

The Official Rules of Drinking Pro Evolution Soccer (or Drinking Pro Evo)

(NB This is for the Playstation version of Pro Evolution Soccer. It should be easy enough to transfer to other versions)

1.1 Matches are decided over two legs, with away goals, and penalty shoot outs if necessary.

1.2 Both players pick a random team by holding the Square button while looking at each other and counting to three, letting go of Square at the same time ON three.

1.3 When two teams are selected, the strips must be selected to be as similar as possible (eg two predominantly white strips, if possible).

1.4 The lineups must be the default selections, and remain so over the two legs, with no substitutions, or tactical adjustments permitted.

2.1 During Gameplay, before the start of each half, at the final whistle, and any stoppage in play, a drink must be consumed. A player may not continue until his/her drink is consumed, and returned to it's resting surface.

2.2 The game cannot be paused for any reason. If a player pauses for any reason, they must immediately consume two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit), while the game continues to be played by their opponent.

2.2.1 If a player's drink is depleted, he/she must restock while the game continues in their absence. Any opportunities to drink that an absent player missed must be honoured with two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit).

2.3 Any time a player concedes a goal, they must consume two fingers of drink (or any other pre-approved unit).

3.1 The winner after two legs has to be presented with the winner's trophy, which is a shot (ideally in a miniature trophy), concocted by the losing player, of any combination of alcoholic beverages, and edible solids.

3.2 The victory must be captured in visual record for historical posterity.

4.1 The match is replayed with different teams, selected at random (holding L1 and Square and counting to three, cf rule 1.2), and continued ad nauseam ad infinitum.