Are celebrities superhuman? RIchard Hammond is OK!

BBC | UK | Clarkson gives Hammond 'All-Clear'

With news that Richard Hammond is all but healed, after being close to death less than a month ago, it confirms everyone's deepest suspicions (well, everyone at Hello Magazine, anyway) - celebrities truly are superhuman.

Consider Bono's escapades in saving the world, while being a mild-mannered rock star by day.

Or the intrisic inability of celebrities to grow old, eg. Halle Berry (40); Johnny Depp (43); Pamela Anderson (39); Brad Pitt (43), and Susan Sarandon, a plastic-free 60-Year-Old.
Also, their chronic inability to die/retire (see:The Rolling Stones - minus Brian Jones, obviously, RIP and all that)

Or their apparent immunity to hard drugs (almost entirely reserved for Motley Crue, and argueably, Ozzy Osbourne)

Or the insatiable appetite for sex (Paris Hilton... she has to be famous for something - otherwise this post is pointless)


So it must be true that people are pre-destined to become celebrities due to their superhuman abilities. Which is why no cumstain from Big Brother has ever been on a TV since. (With the possible exception of Jade Goody, who has the superhuman ability of being thick as monkey shit.)

Update (3 August 2012) -  I'm going to update this post to include the subsequent knowledge (from this South Park episode) that Magic Johnson has AIDS and has managed to avoid the Grim Reaper for years, and David Beckham seems to have a superhuman invulnerability to negative headlines. After countless career setbacks that would have destroyed the mental health of even the most stubbornly saccharine emoticon, including being burned as an effigy for petulantly kicking out at an opponent, acting as Alex Ferguson's target during kicking practice, Beckham has constantly resurrected his career, often in a more successful state then before said incidents. Now, after suffering the ignominy and dream-shattering of not being called up for the Olympic squad, he took part in the opening ceremony instead, carrying the torch. On a speedboat on the Thames. In a tuxedo. Through Tower Bridge.