Beckham - he's going for the ego massage.

David Beckham's latest career move has been the biggest news story in the western world it seems. Potentially the most lucrative (financially, at least) sports contract in history (the oft-quoted $250m/£128m is perhaps an exaggeration, he is entitled to a large cut of his clubs earnings, plus he gets to keep the money he makes in personal contracts - a luxury he, perversely, didn't have with Real Madrid), versus the plight of talent wasted by poor decisions.

Everyone from Martin O'Neill to Alex Ferguson has had something to say about the transfer, usually summing up with, 'well, it's his decision - good luck to him.'


Speculation abounds as to how much influence Posh had on the decision - apparently she was a big factor in the move to Madrid - as opposed to somewhere else in England. Now, in Hollywood, Posh has probably seen what those NASA geniuses can do with Paris Hilton, and wants a piece of that action.


Nobody has dared speculate on Beck's ego in all this. When he was at Old Trafford, he was (inexplicably) cummed over by the football press. After one spectacular goal (from the halfway line), and an important free kick that scraped England in the 2002 World Cup, and they think he is God (well, their God - all us Egodeists know he is his own).

They even balked at the suggestion he was sold to Real for a 'measly' £25m.

And of course their the Hello Magazines of this world, who needed to fill the void left by Princess Died, and Posh and Becks arrived at exactly the right moment. I have recently flicked through an issue, where all the cover articles mentioned Victoria in some sense or another (one was even about the woman herself!).

Then they went to Madrid. David became a second-choice in the football lineup (then third, then fourth), and Posh became just another WAG. It took a bigmouthed babysitter to blab about shagging him for either of them to become news again.

Now, when Becks goes to America he (deseverdly, for once) will be hailed as the biggest player in the league. Being first choice midfielder will be a given (it's probably in his contract). And all the accolades will come crawling back, because he will be the very big fish, in a paddling pool.