Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

NB The following may be ported to most driving games.
The Official Rules of Drinking Gran Turismo

1.1 Players must select the same vehicle on any track, provided said track has grass banks or gravel traps.

1.2 Drinks must be able to be consumed through a straw to completion, while Gameplay is taking place. Sellotaption, or sticky-back-plasticisation, of several straws together must occur if necessary.

1.3 During Gameplay, players must drink continuously while they are applying brakes, or are veering off the designated track.

1.4 The game may not be paused for any reason. If a player's drink is depleted, he/she must restock while the game continues. He/she may not accelerate during this period.

1.5 The winner has to be presented with the winner's trophy, which is a shot (ideally in a miniature trophy), concocted by the losing player, of any combination of alcoholic beverages, and edible solids.

The Official Rules of Drinking Scrabble

1.0 Scrabble is a trademark of Hasbro in the United States of America, and Mattel elsewhere. Neither company endorses or encourages the enjoyment of Scrabble as described herein.

1.1 Tiles are distributed to each player as per the rules.

1.2 For every five points a player scores, they must imbibe a finger or equivalent pre-determined unit of alcohol.

1.3 Bonus squares are to be encouraged and carry over to each turn and may be used more than once per game, contrary to the official rules of the game.

1.4 Players may, and should, conspire with each other to obtain the highest score possible in order to increase intoxication, and overall wordplay.

1.5 Disputed words that do not appear in standard dictionaries, but are in common use among players or their peers, or that appear in the Urban Dictionary, are to be encouraged, especially if they yield the highest amount of points in that turn.