Saturday, December 23, 2006

The rise of Socio-fiction

Are we witnessing the dawning of a new genre of film? I have noticed over the last couple of years a vast increase in films that present an alternate political reality. Films such as V for Vandetta, and now Children of Men. How would you class these films? They aren't exactly science fiction, even if they are set in the future sometimes. And you can't call them Political thrillers, like The Manchurian Candidate because that was a work of fiction based on actual history, as opposed to a supposed future.

Therefore, I hereby declare that we now have a new genre of film - namely Socio-fiction. Feel free to steal this marvellous phrase to describe other such films. I'll update this post when other examples come to me.

Thursday, December 21, 2006 charts

Last.FM - The social Music revolution, as it refers to itself, has a nice wee tool that allows you to keep your own charts of the song/artists that you have been listening to over the last week. This is my chart from the last week.

I would prefer to put it on my Bebo, or the sidebar of this page - but I don't understand very much HTML, so I can't. Waah!

Join up and get one yourself.

macca7174's Profile Page

Monday, December 11, 2006

Britain's latest serial killer.

Ipswich police are warning the two-dozen or so prostitutes in the Ipswich area to remain vigilant as suspicions are growing of a Jack the Ripper-style serial killer is at large.
Of course, the real issue for the tabloids is much more serious than that.
Who's gonna come up with the witty pun?
Rip-swich...Ipswich ripper...Kill the 'Swich... are some bad examples that they've probably already scrapped.
Although the guy does seem to be pretty effective, the BBC reports that police are worried about a fifth woman already - after less than a week. So they better hurry up - as everyone knows, its not a serial killer unless he has some jingoist name.

Update: 22 December: It seems the term "Suffolk Strangler" is emerging as the jingle-of-choice for the Redhead (and other shit - the link is to the Daily Mail) Newspapers. However, the fact that the prime suspect has been nicknaming himself the Bishop, should help the cause if it turns out he is guilty. Having said all that, the Scum insists on referring to the Ipswich killer as the "Ipswich Ripper" (which I had already debunked - see above) - even though he is not 'ripping' them, as it were.

BBC - Royal Ass Lickers...

I don't know whether it's (yet another) example of the deficiency of democracy, or whether the BBC is angling for a complete return to the monarchical despottery days of yore, but a fucking royal has won Sports Personality of the Year - for the second time.
Anyone who watches BBC News, knows that every time any royal buttons their own shirt, the BBC has their top man on the scene within seconds, cooing with the delight of a young mother of the school bully, who has just claimed two-desserts-worth of dinner money.
And of course, when the issue of taxpayer's expenses crop up to explain how a seven-year-old Zara is able to buy a horse, the BBC laughs it off with something like - it's only 98p per person goes to the royals. That 98p would be better served funding a few dozen nurses salaries.
How many people would have heard of (or cared about) her winning the Toff's parade that is showjumping, if the BBC had not plugged it at every available opportunity - (for example, in the promo ads for the event, it was a clip of her that was always shown first).
Now, I am not going to start any rumours about match-fixing on the BBC's part - (I'll leave that to Biased-BBC to pick up (hopefully), but I will enquire as to what type of dickhead voted for the royal?
I'd have imagined the majority of the country went for the sympathy vote, and went with Darren Clarke (although this may have been offset by the fact that the royal had a friend die mere days before the broadcast). Unless they are viciously xenophobic, cricket fans would have went for Monty Panesar (who was my second choice - just cause I like his name), and tennis fans would have went for Andy Murray, who has had a spectacular year, ending it with a top twenty ranking... I don't know who the other person was... some gymnast...she came third.
All I can imagine is that the Daily Mail pooled all its readers in the backwards religious town dotted across the home counties to vote for the royal in an attempt to coax the BBC back to what it was in the fifties - they way they liked it.
Either way, democracy is fucked... we should do what I say in my other blog, and Give Saddam The Keys

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Armageddon Approaches Part 3

Further to my previous posts about the armageddon (here and, lesserly, here), it appears that now, the animal Kingdom is turning on itself.

The BBC today reports on how a snake swallowed an entire alligator - whole - in the Florida Everglades. Only to succumb to the annoying side-effect of exploding.

Add to this the report of the pelican in St. James' Park, London, who ate a live pigeon whole.

I'm sure some Jesus freak will be able to point me to a passage in the book of Revelations about the 'beasts eating themselves, and Christmas will be the lapdog of the corporations' (or something to that effect) that signifies the end of the world as we know it.

Or R.E.M. could make a sequel to their hit record of the same name.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Critiquing the Critics

Last night I watched the original version of 'The Manchurian Candidate,' and was fascinated by the story of brainwashed POWs trying to piece together what they are not supposed to remember. Frank Sinatra was brilliant as one of the two leads (which I was surprised about, I assumed he was just cast because of his fame; similar to Britney Spears being cast in 'Crossroads'). The other lead actor, I thought, was as wooden as a lead tree, but I was willing to overlook that because of how intriguing, and crucially, entertaining the story was.
However, this optimism, to what I thought was shaping up to be one of the best films I had ever seen, was ripped away from with the vitriol of Liam Gallagher on a speedball with a stupid 'inside man' twist.

I hate 'inside man' twists, which is why I haven't watched 24 since it was declared that Nina was the inside man in the first series.
The 'inside man' twist in The Da Vinci Code (the book, not the film, I am avoiding that on principle that I will not pay to see films I expect to be shit), cemented the books increasing crappiness in one (page-or-so-long) chapter.
The first Saw film was built on an interesting premise of the killer who never really kills his victims. The low-budget gorefest was entertaining as well, and did have an intelligent twist in the plot, which was fascinating - until they ruined it with the 'inside man' angle.

Having ranted at length, I shall go back to my original point. Roger Ebert, one of the most distinguished critics in America, considers 'The Manchurian Candidate' to be one of the finest films in America, despite the fact, that he cheerfully acknowledges that the plot is pure hokum;
"Do not look for logic here."

Ebert, in my opinion is of that category of film reviewers who think that because a film is old, it means its automatically better than anything released today of the same caliber.

Consider Phillip French, the writer for the Observer. He can barely write a review without name-checking half a doaen films from throughout the history of cinema, to conclude that they were all better than that which he is currently writing about. This is the entire copy of his review of Sixty Six;

"Very briefly, Sixty Six is a likable Jewish comedy about a London lad whose bar mitzvah coincides with the 1966 World Cup final. As his father, Eddie Marsan is too convincingly sad and pathetic to raise laughs, and the film is not quite in the class of Jack Rosenthal's classic TV movie, Bar Mitzvah Boy."

Anyone who can point me in the direction of a critic who doesn't employ such hypocrisies would be most thanked. I've heard that Mark Kermode maintains a certain continuity in his critical style (for example, giving Basic Instinct 2 a good review, because it stuck to it's genre's formula).

Sunday, November 19, 2006

More dodgy toys

Thanks to raincoaster for this one.

Further to my post about the supersoaker ad - complete with highly dubious visuals regarding thick, white liquids being squirted over young boys faces, this new toy has been launched in America in time for the Exmo market.

Requires 2 AAA batteries.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Yndi sell out

Yndi Halda's news just keeps on flying. It turns out that the launch party release scheduled for tomorrow night (Friday 17th November 2006), at the Water Rats club in Kings Cross, London, is sold out.
All this, despite the fact that they have hardly been in contact with each other since the summer, let alone been practising ("about four months" according to drummer, Ollie Newton, in a telephone interview).
If you still don't know of the beautiful music that these guys produce, I suggest you purchase the E.P. when it is released. You are probably most likely to get it on the internet at this stage.

George Best fivers? Sinn Fein selling out? I missing all the action back home.

First, it became apparent that Sinn Fein have gone the way if the Communist party in Soviet Russia, New Labour in Soviet Britain, or Metallica (at least in the eyes of the meanest of fascist 'Ra dickheads), leaving behind what they once stood for, and selling out to the masses (the issue being whether, or not, to accept nationalised policing - how can you sell your heroin when there's a police force breathing down your neck). Now the Shinners are the subject or security concerns from within their own ranks.
Then there's the news of George Best getting a comemorative fiver issued to him, and that they are being sold on ebay for more than a fiver...(I would have thought of that).
And finally, RoI actually won a match. Although, it was only against San Marino, and they only scored five goals (which may seem a harsh criticism, but San Marino had an average Goals Against tally of 10 goals per game before the match).
Seems I missed all the action back home. The only thing happening in London is some oul doll whining on about her plans for the next year.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Corn Flakes - The perfect foodstuff.

Upon tucking into a refreshing, yet substantial and fulfilling bowl of Corn Flakes the other day, I came to the realisation that Corn Flakes are the perfect foodstuff for humanity.
They are easy to prepare - can you handle the pouring of milk, and Corn Flakes?
They are easy to clean up after, all you have is a bowl and a spoon.
The ingredients (unlike any other healthy (by healthy, i mean lack of unhealthiness)) are cheap to obtain. Milk and Corn Flakes, so it's perfect for students
Guilty liberal types can rest easy with the fact they are not pollutting the planet/killing innocent animals etc eating corn flakes.
And one gets most of the sustanance one needs from corn flakes.
So Corn Flakes should become the national dish. Jamie Oliver would prefer that than the old "turkey twizzlers"
"But what about the farmers," your socialists may say. Tell them to switch their trade to Corn and/or milk production and they'd make a mint. It might help us to stop subsidising the lazy (or stubborn) bastards if they'd change their business practices.
"But the population of other farm animals would explode to epic proportions." Nuh-uh. For a start, they wouldn't be bred for the sole purpose of being eaten, and survival of the fittest would start to kick in - the smart pigs would start to realise there is not enough food to feed all these fat bastards, and turn to canibalism.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Are celebrities superhuman? RIchard Hammond is OK!

BBC | UK | Clarkson gives Hammond 'All-Clear'

With news that Richard Hammond is all but healed, after being close to death less than a month ago, it confirms everyone's deepest suspicions (well, everyone at Hello Magazine, anyway) - celebrities truly are superhuman.

Consider Bono's escapades in saving the world, while being a mild-mannered rock star by day.

Or the intrisic inability of celebrities to grow old, eg. Halle Berry (40); Johnny Depp (43); Pamela Anderson (39); Brad Pitt (43), and Susan Sarandon, a plastic-free 60-Year-Old.
Also, their chronic inability to die/retire (see:The Rolling Stones - minus Brian Jones, obviously, RIP and all that)

Or their apparent immunity to hard drugs (almost entirely reserved for Motley Crue, and argueably, Ozzy Osbourne)

Or the insatiable appetite for sex (Paris Hilton... she has to be famous for something - otherwise this post is pointless)

So it must be true that people are pre-destined to become celebrities due to their superhuman abilities. Which is why no cumstain from Big Brother has ever been on a TV since. (With the possible exception of Jade Goody, who has the superhuman ability of being thick as monkey shit.)

Update (3 August 2012) -  I'm going to update this post to include the subsequent knowledge (from this South Park episode) that Magic Johnson has AIDS and has managed to avoid the Grim Reaper for years, and David Beckham seems to have a superhuman invulnerability to negative headlines. After countless career setbacks that would have destroyed the mental health of even the most stubbornly saccharine emoticon, including being burned as an effigy for petulantly kicking out at an opponent, acting as Alex Ferguson's target during kicking practice, Beckham has constantly resurrected his career, often in a more successful state then before said incidents. Now, after suffering the ignominy and dream-shattering of not being called up for the Olympic squad, he took part in the opening ceremony instead, carrying the torch. On a speedboat on the Thames. In a tuxedo. Through Tower Bridge.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Al-Jazeera: a godsend for journalism

Al-Jazeera, the Arabic news channel has long been the thorn in the side of George Bush and his cronies.
The White House has long tried to paint the News channel as a terrorist network. They point out that Al-Qaeda tapes often (if not always) surface on Al-Jazeera. This is obviously true, Al Qaeda are hardly going to send tapes to Fox News, where the tranlation will probably be inaccurate, and edited suufficiently to make Dubya seem like the Messiah - if itr even gets shown at all.
What the White House is really afraif of is Al-Jazeera's knack of constantly embarassing their Iraq policy, through good journalism, and proper investigation. And with a new English-language version of the chamnnel opening in Washington, and London, this is likely (here's hoping) increase multifold.
Now it seems that the channel has scored another coup over the regime. One of the top US State officials has said the US' Iraq policy was rife with "arrogance and stupidity."
See, give someone a decent platform, and the truth will emerge.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Does America Have Any Journalistic Credibility?

The Timing Is Irrelevant In Foley Story - Public Eye

Much has been made about America's pro-Bush televisual media, or anti-Bush dead-tree press (a phrase I have garnered from influential blogger Guido Fawkes). An entire documentary has been devoted to Fox News' right wing bias. The leading U.S. newspapers, such as The New York Times, and The Washington Post have to stave off accusations of liberal bias.

Is this the state of Journalism in the most powerful nation in the 'free world'? A childish name-calling squabble?

The biggest news story of the run up to the mid-term elections was the news that a Republican, Mark Foley, had been sending dirty MSN messages to a 16 year old assisstant.
After he resigned, the focus shifted to how long senior Republicans new about this, with many denying knowledge, or shifting blame. Daniel Hastert, the top Republican in the House, and therefore the man who should have known about this for months (some speculate this has been going on for over 18 months) and taken appropriate action. His defence has always been that this story was a conspiracy by the Democrats to derail the Republicans re-election campaign (rather than provide explanation as to why he didn't act).
However, this post, by the CBS News blog team (a blog devoted to the behind-the-scenes working of CBS News) refutes this claim, because they can quote a journalist who was presented with the story in May (it broke in September). The journalist in question, Ken Silverstein goes into signifcant detail about how he was given the story, and practically brags about turning it away, and then cites a further three news sources who did the same.
Surely the journalistic credibility of America has been truly stripped away when they feel that a story about a man in public office, who has been involved in such inappropriate activity, does not need to be disclosed to the American people?
It's a long way down from Woodward and Bernstein

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Stan keeps up the good work! Ireland fail again!

Staunton Gets FA Backing - Sky Sports

My first post on this blog, was my pessimistic view of Steve Staunton's appointment as the Republic of Ireland manager... Results have justified my pessimism.

Now, of course, the Paddywhacks in the FAI see no reason to admit a mistake. One quote I did take note of, was this, by Head Whack, John Delaney. "We've asked him in on a long-term basis to see if he would be prepared to take the team on and qualify us for a World Cup."...
"see if he'd be prepared to..." - it's no biggy really, he can take it or leave it.
"a World Cup"... whichever ones suits him. 2058 sound alright for anyone?

At least the Norners (and Scotland) are doing well for themselves, they just needa watch those teams they should beat.

Someone think of the Children! "Limbo" is abolished!

BBC NEWS | Magazine | How can limbo just be abolished?

His Naziness, Pope Benedict XVI, last week abolished 'limbo.' Limbo was described as the place where unbaptised babies would go if they died. Created on a whim, now, apparently abolished on a whim. Isn't Catholicism so convenient for a sitting Pope?
For hundreds of years, unbaptised children were buried outside the walls of the graveyards, because they hadn't been indoctrinated into the cause. What now of their memory?
Suppose the next Pope doesn't like the idea of heaven? Will he be able to go *poof* and get rid of it?
With that sort of power over zealous catholics (who will no doubt eradicate all trace of limbo from their lives, and memories, and any lives or memories they have control over ie their children), no wonder the Vatican are so protective of their position.

Friday, September 29, 2006

New NHS money-saving techniques

It seems the NHS is trying to avoid unnecessary expenditure of precious time, and therefore money. Rather than have patients schedule appointments for advice, it is best that they know the information they would have recieved before they even enter the building.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Just when you thought Paddywhackery couldn't sink any lower Government to collapse tonight

A few weeks ago, I was almost moved to break from my blogging holiday to comment on the near copycat behaviour of Dublin politicians, by holding a leadership contest for the PDs, about three days after the subject of the Labour Leadership in Britain had finally been brought to the fore.

Now, thanks to those dilligent folk over at Slugger O'Toole and, my judgement of Dublin Paddywhackery has been dropped further. It seems as though Bertie Ahern has stared resignation, and, therefore a life of shame, in the face over the course of many hours tonight, with regard to his financial dealings in Manchester in the early nineties. Of course, who steps up to the plate to offer the pillar of vocal support? None other than the potentially most hated minister serving in Leinster House, Michael McDowell. Surprise Surprise.
The Irish President was even moved to contact the Teashop's office to discuss the protocol regarding the resignation of a sitting PM.
After all the fuss, it seems the An Teashop will now wait until Tuesday to discuss the matter in the Dail. It seems a constitutional crisis in Irish politics is not enough to disrupt a Friday schedule.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

the mire of football...

World Cup, been and gone. Heads placed firmly in chest. The moneyed-up merry-go-round of Professional soccer dwindles yet further into uselessness.
The three big Italian Clubs were facing realistic financial ruin a few weeks ago, when pretty severe sentences were handed down for the widespread cheating fiasco. Relegated to a lower division, and scores of points taken off them, some teams may not have recovered.
Good, I was thinking, finally the epidemic of protectionism in football has been broken.
Wrong!! The authorities in charge of this decided that was a bit too harsh, and decided to recede nearly all the important punishments that they had inflicted. For example, A.C. Milan, one of the main offenders in the case, have been allowed to compete in this year's Champion's League, thereby getting all the money that being there entails.

Be rich - get away with murder.

Friday, July 14, 2006

"Your car has been turned into a cube."

Apparently taking direct influence from the Simpsons, a man has vowed to crush his Peugeot 807 into a cube, because of Peugeot's refusal to fix the problems in their car.
An interesting idea, but I would be more inclined to donate to his other suggested cause, Cancer Research.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Bill Gates - 21st Century Robin Hood??

Pogue's Posts - Technology - New York Times Blog - Reconsidering Bill Gates

It's a weird week when you are suddenly find yourself considering if Bill Gates is the new Robin Hood, but that's what I've just done.
Gates has recently announced his retirement from his current position at Microsoft, so that he could continue to concetrate on his charity foundation, which is dedicated to eradicated disease and increase education. Some have reported that he intents to give away 95% of his wealth.
This is a very positive revelation in my eyes. Many have been critical of Microsoft's business tactics over the years, myself included, and Gates was at the helm when this was going on. However, the fact that he has now decided to use his money productively is to be welcomed. The individual may not be entirely to blame for the corporation's behaviour (although, feasibly he could be, since he owned it), so let's see if he can prove all the sceptics wrong, and show that he really isn't as evil as internet conspirators would like to portray him.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

iPod's are too robust

iPod Causes Pipe Problems At University - Softpedia
An amusing story has come to light about an iPod that accidentally got flushed down a toilet. Apparently, the plumbing team hired to relieve the blockage couldn't budge it - because it was "indestructible". It had managed to wedge itself in such a way that it could simply be pushed through, so they tried breaking it into pieces. However, the fiesty little bugger couldn't be chipped, and eventually they had to resort to flushing every toilet in the building. This inevitably led to the farcical slapstick moment of having an entire floor of toilets act as geysers.
Now, why couldn't they make flak jackets or something out of iPods?

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The plants smell pretty strong these days

The Scum Online - News: Raid brothers' £38k stash
By now I'm sure that everyone has heard of the 250 police officers raiding a small terraced house under the pretence of terrorism-squashing. After all the expense, shootings and harrassment, it has emerged, much to Scotland Yard's embarrasment, that there was no bombs or terrorist equipment.
Now, over a week later, they say they have found a stash of £35,000 in cash in one of the men's bedroom. Surely, after such rigorous searching, £35,000 would have been spotted pretty quickly? Why do I get the feeling that they have planted this, the police in the U.K. aren't hesitant to do this when it comes to the propaganda war against terrorism, as the Guildford Four and Birmingham Six will tell you.
And of course, who is the first paper to break the news of the new 'find'? The Scum. Only the most Islamophobic of all the mainstream papers, who are guaranteed to frenzy it up beyond recognition of any of the 'facts'.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Man against Nature, chapter 24,023,986

The Scum Online - News: Potty hippo attacks boat: "Potty hippo attacks"

Reading the news in today's Scum about the woman who was attacked by a hippo, one thing repeatedly struck me. Stupidity.

The paper's headline, and report, seemed to suggest that in some way the animal was acting completely abnormally. The tourist, whose canoe was "snapped in half", was quoted as saying, "I thought hippos were sweet."

What is wrong with people. A hippo is a wild animal. If you are going to go anywhere foreign for a break, it is adviseable to do some research. This is so that you know any customs the people in the host country adhere to, or any dangerous animals that may inhabit the place.

It is a constant shortfall of the British tourist, who is usually completely ignorant of all these things.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

The Government's pandering to the Scum is threatening the very basis of the Constitution

BBC NEWS | Politics | Reid sentence attack 'unhelpful'

As John Ried jumps on the Scum's bandwagon of criticising judge's sentences, he is threatening the Constitution.
Tony B Liar has also been in on the pander-to-the-Scum bandwagon before, to the point where it's becoming difficult to discern who is actually running the country, The editor of the Scum, or B Liar's cabinet.
If John Ried does not like the sentences handed down by judges, as Home Secretary, he is in an advantageous position to change the law, such as mandatory sentences.
But he's probably not sure which seat on the Cabinet he holds any more, given that his staunch Blairism, combined with his comparitive lack of scandal (actually now that I thikn about it, a commendable lack) compared to the other Blairites, means he has been playing musical chairs in all the key Cabinet positions.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Arctic Monkeys & Sandi Thom... Fakers!

Independent Online Edition > News

So the great grassroots stories of the year turned out to be astroturf. Ah, the old cynicism wins again.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Just pump and squirt!

This is a genuine ad for a supersoaker toy...


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Yndi's PR people are at it again

Yndi Halda - Enjoy Eternal Bliss E.P. ready in November

Monday, May 22, 2006

Northern Ireland's Frank Lampard

Steve Davis Northern Ireland's Youngest ever captain

A up-and-comer I've had my eyes on over the past year, or two, has been Ballymena boy, Steve Davis.
He has become David O'Leary's most (read: only?)consistent performer at Aston Villa, and has been named their Player of the Year. His eloquent pass set up David Healy's famous goal against England, and now he has moved to become Northern Ireland's youngest ever captain.

This caps a great year for the young lad, and hopefully a successful Villa team next term, will actually propel his profile to be mentioned among the likes of Wayne Rooney, and Cesc Fagregas as the new generation of Premiership talent.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

A random thought.

I just had a very random thought. What would happen if the computer that Steven Hawkings uses to speak froze?? If he was in the middle of a word, would it play like a scratched record? "The wormhole would op-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p..."
Would he have to 'restart'?...
Also, is he susceptible to computer viruses?
Let's hope he's not running with Windows.

We are not impressed. Do something new

BBC NEWS | England | Hampshire | Wrong-way sailor back on UK soil
So another woman thinks she's achieved something by sailing round the world.
This time it's because she went the "wrong way" round (ie against prevailing winds, and currents etc). You haven't achieved anything, because it has been done before.
Why have these solo women been given so much publicity. Besides self-satisfaction, YOU HAVE NOT ACHIEVED ANYTHING!!! You are not sailing uncharted waters, you are not discovering new lands, you are just being self indulgent.
What benefit does it afford to the human race to know that now it's possible for a single person to sail the world on their own. Will it become common pastime, in a hundred years, to just up and leave, and sail to New Zealand? Twelve weeks alone on a boat will be something we will all take for granted, because of the pioneering efforts of these women!
Neither is it impressive to me that in recent weeks two teenagers became the youngest Britons to scale Everest and a couple became the first married British couple to scale the mountain.
Notice the way they had to point out the fact that both these 'achievements' were British records? It's probably because the indiginous 15-year-olds take their girlfriends to the summit every Friday night for a bit of hows-your-father.
If you really want to achieve something truly remarkable, do something new. Land on Mars, invent a perpetual motion device; something that will actually be of use to mankind, not just some excuse to feed your own self-indulgence.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Apple Mac OS X Tiger vs. Windows XP :: Mac OS X Tiger vs. Windows XP

For anyone contemplating buying a new computer in the near future would do worse than check out this site. It's a very reasonable comparison between Mac's Operating System and the more popular Windows, being evenhanded as far as it is possible to be.
The only negative aspect of the site is that the entire comparison is still not complete, yet both companies are gearing up to release their next installment within the next year (Apple OS X 10.5 and Windows Vista).
Anyone contemplating a new machine at this stage may as well wait until both new platforms are released and make their judgment then.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Microsoft manufacture rocks now.

Apparently Microsoft have been sending rocks to everyone on their mailing list. Something about not allowing software pirates to hide under them.
I won't mention the excessive wealth the company must have in order to afford such a pretentious stunt, but I have heard reports that the equipment has been known to crash unexpectedly, and is subject to dozens of viruses, and other security alerts already. Microsoft is also charging extortionate amounts for the extra software you need in order to turn said rocks into paper-weights - it's against company policy to let their hardware perform it's logical function for free.

Microsoft Stone XP 2006 Home Edition.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

David Blaine, categorically not an amphibian

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Blaine fails in water record bid
So David Blaine failed in his attempt to break the World record for holding your breath underwater.
After living for a week submerged in water, he attempted the feat.
The previous record was apparently 8 minutes and 58 seconds.
However, I would like to question that statment. There are people in the Titanic who haven't breathed for 94 years.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The most exciting new release of the year?

Chart commentary - most exciting release of the year

Anyone familiar with the Dotmusic of Yore (now known as Yahoo! Music), would no doubt be aware of James Masterson's weekly column based on the latest chart. This guy seems to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the British Top 40, including it's entire history.
Every week he makes comments on the state of affairs in the charts, such as this week's biggest selling record not actually being present on any chart. Being a five track E.P., Arctic Monkeys' 'Who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?' is not eligible to be included in the three-track max singles chart.
However, this past few weeks, he has begun tagging up 'the most exciting release of the year,' while failing to mention what it is (this is a year that has boasted the scrumptious release of Crazy by Gnarles Barkley, so this would need to be a pretty special release indeed). It is due for release on the 22nd May.
Any speculation as to the identity of the track is most welcome.

Monday, May 01, 2006

meet me in st. louis x

meet me in st. louis x
Another band on the cusp of big things is Meet Me in St. Louis. Heavily influenced by At The Drive-In, and other bands notable for their raw energy, St. Louis have already founded quite a following for themselves. One of the striking things about the band is their practice of having extremely long names for their work, (notable examples are; 'What happened to you Dylan? you used to be someone I could trust,' 'We need to act like we don't need this shit, then they give us the shit for free')
They release their debut E.P., 'Promise Me That We'll Never Be Like Them...EP' on 29th May.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

The most exciting year in British football?

Is it possible this has been the most exciting year in British football? Around October, the press were complaining about the stale quality of the matches, remarking the numerous 'bore draws', i.e. 0-0 results that didn't really produce any real incidents, including Roy Keane's last match for Man. Utd. against Liverpool.
It has become strangely unpredictable since then however.
Even before that, the European competitions were throwing up all sorts of upsets. Who would have ever predicted a Welsh English derby in the Champions League, with TNS Solutions playing Liverpool? Everton's heroics last year to earn them a place in the Champions League, was cruelly rewarded with a tough draw against Villareal, and then more tough opposition in the UEFA cup qualifiers. Celtic's early exit from the Champion's League to the unheard of Artsmedia Bratislava, (who many quipped sounded more like an advertising company, or university course than a football team), probably spurned Rangers on to being the first Scottish team to emerge from the group stage of the competition, again twarted by Villareal. In the actual competition Liverpool and Chelsea were drawn together in the same group, and both qualified, much to the envy of Man Utd, who were the second British victims of Villareal, when they finished last in their group, thus not even having the consolation of the UEFA cup.
Domestically, in England, Chelsea looked set to run away with the Premiership by Christmas, but in the end up, they only won it with two games to spare.
Wigan, who five years ago, were in the third league, have maintained a top-half position throughout the season, and put on a spirited performance in the League Cup Final.
The F.A. Cup has also gone the way of the romantics, with West Ham making it to the Final, and Liverpool's defeat of Chelsea put the thoughts of a double to the dumpyard.
In the Scottish Cup, Celtic were knocked out of the third round by Clyde, and their Old Firm rivals Rangers didn't even get to the quarter finals. The two big Edinburgh battled it out for the place in the final, and their opponents are Second Division Gretna.
Despite Hearts disgraceful record of employment with their managers this season, they are still clinging on to the second Champion's League spot.
Middlesbrough having twice scored the four goals that they needed have got through to the UEFA Cup final, and Arsenal's team of youngster's have pushed aside a who's who of Europeaen football to make the Champion's League final, setting a record of clean sheets in the competition while they're at it.
So, potentially, should the two English sides win the European cups, every cup that's available to British clubs, with the exception of the Scottish League Cup, will be going to a different team.
Of course, I failed to mention the Championship, which was won by Top-Flight virgins Reading, who have broken a series of records by winning it. The earliest team to ever secure promotion to the Premiership, and this weekend set a new points record of 106, after defeating Q.P.R. on the last day of the season.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Labour spin resorts to American mud-slinging

Dave the Chameleon - available in any colour (as long as it's blue)

And so, the lowest denominator draws near, as Labour start emplying US-type mud slinging tactics for the local elections campaigns.
Long since reknowned for their spin tactics, Labour has now started leading their election campaign with an effigy, of sorts, of opposition leader, David Cameron, as a chameleon, because of his refusal to outline what his policies actually consist of, just supporting the opposite to what Labour are doing.
Perhaps Labour should concentrate on removing the shit from their doorstep, with numerous scandals unfolding over the past few weeks, such as the Cash-for-honours, Cherie's £8000 (taxpayers money obviously - they didn't want to break a £100,000) haircuts, the multiple-fold NHS layoffs, which they continually brush aside, and numerous calls for the Home secretary, the health secretary, and the education secretary all to quit.
They continued arrogance of B Liar's cabinet is beginning to tell on the grassroot electorate. A very real threat of the BNP taking over several (maybe dozens) councils in next week's election looms large. Unfortunately, because of the Popular press' anti-left bias (the Scum, and Mirror included), not as many as one would like sees the Lib Dems as the real alternative to Labour. And those that do, will probably split the left vote, allowing the Tories in.
Blair's refusal to step down before the last election may have a disastrous long-term effect on the country, as I cannot see Labour winning back the electorate's trust before the next election.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Does anyone remember this???

A show called C.O.P.S, which used to b on on summer mornings when i was about eight. I have asked my friends do any of them remember it, and they say no.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Religion. Tom Cruise and the Scientologists.

Movie & TV News @ - Studio Briefing

If my increasing suspicion of religion needs any justification, one only needs to point to Scientology. Tom Cruise has probably done irreprable damage to his credibility within the last year for his zealous defence of the religion.
(Anyone who argues that Scientology isn't a real religion, then consider how Christianity, Judaism or Islam would have been regarded in their first fifty years of existence. Jews were enslaved for decades by the Ancient Pharoahs of Egypt, Christians were repeatedly thrown to the lions by the Romans, and a few hundred years later, Christians from England went half way across the known world to butcher Muslims in the Crusades. All these acts took place because a new religion was deemed crazy, and downright wrong).

In a career that was defined by constantly hitting the top of the box office, and promotional posters that only needed to include his face, Tom Cruise could do no wrong in Hollywood. In roles, such as The Color of Money, Born on the Fourth of July, or The Last Samurai, he even showed he could act when he wanted to. He has had to bat off allegations that he is gay throughout his career, but that is probably to maintain his teenybopper fanbase (his sexuality is of no interest to me, whatsoever).

However, last year, he fired his publicist, prior to the release of The War of the Worlds.

Since then, he has constantly flouted his devotion to Scientology, starting by denouncing his friend, Brooke Shields, for using anti-depression medication to overcome post-natal depression.
He has since gone on to openly attempt to convert his new girlfriend, Katie Holmes to the ways of Scientology, and these have become increasingly dictatorial, by the sounds of things. He insisted they wed in a Scientology ceremony, despite Holmes' parents wishes to have a traditional Christian wedding (they are practising Catholics), and insisted the birth of their child be 'silent', meaning she has to endure excrutiating pain, without screaming.

Now, you may be wondering why I am using this to denounce religion. Well, Tom's stringent adherence to stupid practices, is no different than the numerous examples of stupidity exhibited by zealots in any religion.
Politicians in the Southern States of America who want to win the votes of the Christian conservatives support Christian anti-abortionists, who claim that God is the only person who can take a person's life, but yet are also advocates of the death penalty.
In the Phillipines, they practice traditional Catholicism, not the watered-down version we in the West are accustomed to, which entails an Easter Ritual complete with repeatedly whipping yourself in order to repent for any sins.
If a baby had died before being baptised in medievil Britain/Ireland, it would be buried outside the cemetery (in fact, this practice went on up until the 20s in some places) because it had not been cleansed of The Original Sin (which, by definition, renders inaccurate any claim that babies are 'innocent'), and the same punishment applied to children born out of wedlock.
Taliban regimes would stone a woman to death, if she got raped, because she had presented the temptation to the man.
Judaism believes that defacing a child's penis (circumcision) somehow brings them closer to God, (I have actually been having trouble finding the spiritual function of circumcision, which may prove its fallacy).

Faith is very important to a lot of people, and I do not have a problem with that. However, Religion stifles faith, and sets limits on faith. Who can say that by not having sex before getting married will give you a free pass to Heaven. How do we know that the Rastafarians are not correct in saying that smoking cannabis brings one spiritually closer to and Higher Being?

If everyone was encouraged to believe in what they think is spiritually accurate, as opposed to being indoctrinated into one absolute belief, and encouraged to believe everything else is wrong, the world would be a considerably more peaceful place.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Ghosts! The proof is out there.

The existance of ghosts has been confirmed once and for all. I have procured several of my own photographic evidences confirming the existence of other-worldly beings.... Read on!....

All the following pictures were taken in the same room of a very old house in Farnham Surrey, that was condemned before my student friends took it at a cut price rent. This was one freaky party.

Above Ollie's head, on the extreme right, you can see an inexplicable floating object which looks like something on the lens. However, if you look at the reaction of the other attendees of this party, it is clear there is a sense of panic in the room. Ollie was complaining at the time of feeling a sharp tug on his hair (and you can see him feeling around his right ear).

This one makes it even more convincing. John, in the red t-shirt, was helping me with a picture, by blowing his cigarette smoke into the air. As we did so, a face appeared in the smoke, so we had to immediately take a photograph of it. The fear is present in both John and Pughie's faces.

This was just a normal photograph of LB, or so we thought. It transpires that we took this picture IN THE SAME SPOT as the cigarette smoke face. When we got this photo developed there was a tormented screaming face in the developed photograph.
This picture must quell the doubts of any Thomas's...

This picture was a dud, we thought the flash wasn't working, but, as always happens, it flashed when we were randomly pointing at a table. Those are my hands to the right, and it was supposed to be me in the photo. However, the 'person' in the foreground was a complete mystery to us. It looks like someone just sitting at the table, but look closely at his elbow... it is GOING THROUGH THE TABLE...

Well, the proof is out there. To me it is pretty conclusive, but it is entirely up to you whether you believe it or not...

The Lunchtime Sardine Club

Meet Ollie Newton, the brains behind experimental post-rockers, The Lunchtime Sardine Club. Apparantly he hates playing Russian Roulette, because he always loses...

Running Macs and Windows on the one machine

Apple's Dual Boot Solution Has Arrived - Softpedia

There are MANY people out there who are sick to death of Windows, especially it's frailties when it comes to Spyware, and viruses (virii??). Obviously the alternative is to switch to Macs, but most people are so unfamiliar with them, the thought of spending £500-£1500 on something they may not know how to use is intimidating.

Well the solution is just around the corner. The Keifer Sutherland-narrated ads have been doing the rounds on T.V. letting everyone know that the Intel chip is now being manufactured for Macs. Well, the next obvious step (for hackers at least) was to use Windows on the machines. In order to curb the influence of the hackers, Apple has announced that all their next generation computers (Mac OSX 10.5... the Leopard) will come with Windows built in.

This would be the perfect opportunity for anyone who is unsure about making the switch, but wants to have a viable alternative to Windows. I am sure within about a month of using the Mac system, most people will have begun shunning their Windows.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Armageddon Approaches!!!

I commented in an early post about Armaggedon manifesting itself through a Freeview box, which managed to control the RAF from Scotland.
Well, it has recently come to my attention that the 6th day of the 6th Month, of the 6th year (well, seventh, strictly) of the millenium, is fast approaching. (ie 06-06-06). What better time for God, the unappreciated, to finally unleash his vengeance over this haven of antipathy, that we call Earth?
It could also be a nice time for Big Jeso to make his long-awaited comeback. What's he been playing at up there?
So repent quickly, the Day of Judgement is near. Make sure you have the right religion; you don't want to go Catholic all you life and realise that the Lutherans were right... Fuck... eternity of hell ahead of ya.

Jesus Christ: will probably be in attendance

Monday, March 27, 2006

Possibly the funniest news story ever.

BBC NEWS | England | Berkshire | Drink-driver, 14, in court fracas

I can't explain it. Just read it! It will be all over the Scum tomorrow no doubt.

The opening paragraph;
"A 14-year-old drink-driver punched a prosecutor and threw a jug of water at magistrates as she was jailed."

2 guitars....

Rodney Mullen

Now I am not into skateboarding in any way shape or form, but credit where credit is due - this stuff is VERY impressive. This is Rodney Mullen, who would be one of the more famous skateboarders in the world, and would probably be ranked above Tony Hawk by skateboard fans (Tony Hawk sells out, thats why the rest of the worlld hears about him).
Anyway check it out. The music is shit, so you'll have to turn it down.

...more to English

While discussing my recent post on the healthy progession of the English language, I was reminded (by Neeve McShoe...kudos!) how cruel the language is to people who have speech impediments.

Lisp... for people who can't pronounce 'S', that's a bit much.
Stutter... could you fit any more 'T's in that word?? Why not add a few hyphens...

and to add spice, Jonathan Ross' parents must have been a laugh ("I'm Jonaphan Woth").

Still... shows you what a progressive Language it is, can laugh at itself so gracefully.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

NIke football Ad, 2004

...Look a likey-shock

Anyone else think there is a scary similarity between Dawn French and Cherie Blair? ... quite a disturbing thought really.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Possibly the greatest ad of all time.

This is the Nike Soccer Ad used during the promotion of the 2002 World Cup. Brilliant idea, brilliantly executed. Nike has established a bit of a reputation for themselves of producing great football ads...some of which will be posted here soon.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Here's to English....

And ther is so gret diversite
In Englissh and in writyng of oure tonge,
So prey I God that non myswrite the,
Ne the mysmetre for defaute of tonge;
And red wherso thow be, or elles songe,
That thow be understonde, God I biseche!

Troilus and Criseyde, verses 1786-98

Geoffrey Chaucer (c. 1380)
For shame! deny that thou bear'st love to any, Who for thyself art so unprovident. Grant, if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many, But that thou none lovest is most evident; For thou art so possess'd with murderous hate 5 That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire. Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate Which to repair should be thy chief desire. O, change thy thought, that I may change my mind! Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love? 10 Be, as thy presence is, gracious and kind, Or to thyself at least kind-hearted prove:

Sonnet 10

William Shakespeare (c. 1609)
The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is the infinite of space: and swiftly, silently the soul is wafted over regions of cycles of generations that have lived. A region where grey twilight ever descends, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her dusk, scattering a perennial dew of stars. She follows her mother with ungainly steps, a mare leading her fillyfoal. Twilight phantoms are they, yet moulded in prophetic grace of structure, slim shapely haunches, a supple tendonous neck, the meek apprehensive skull. They fade, sad phantoms: all is gone. Agendath is a waste land, a home of screechowls and the sandblind upupa. Netaim, the golden, is no more. And on the highway of the clouds they come, muttering thunder of rebellion, the ghosts of beasts. Huuh! Hark! Huuh!


James Joyce (1922)
Ah suppose man, ah'm too much ay a perfectionist, ken? It's likesay, if things go a bit dodgy, ah jist cannae be bothered, y'know


Irvine Welsh (1993)
som ppl (usu fogey technophobes) hav complained dat d recnt surge of txt msgN, & emails hav begun ruining d eng lngwij. I hav demonstrated abof d eng launguage hz alredi devLpD fR beyond wot wz considRD gud eng, evN n pieces of literature.
I cn c, withn d NXT 10 yr.z, Oxford, o Collins, o 1 of d othR reputable publishers, releasing d 1st DXNRE, & thus devLpN d lngwij stil furthr.
it shud b noted, dat British & Irish literists had Bgan eschewing d traditions of eng Grammar since d turn of d 20th centRe (James Joyce, especially), & G. B. Shaw L monE n Hs wiL 2 advance d idea of a 42 letR ABC.
So, hEr we R thN in2 a nu millenium, & a nu breed of eng hz devLpD organically, hu iz any1 2 fite it?

"Here's to English...." blog post, as translated by

James I McAnespy, 13 March 2006

Some people (usually fogey technophobes) have complained that the recent surge of Text messaging, and emails have begun ruining the English Language. Well, as I have demonstrated above, the English launguage has already developed far beyond what was considered good English, even in pieces of literature.
I can see, within the next ten years, Oxford, or Collins, or one of the other reputable publishers, releasing the first DXNRE, and thus developing the language still further.
It should be noted, that British and Irish literists had began eschewing the traditions of English Grammar since the turn of the 20th century (James Joyce, especially), and G. B. Shaw left money in his will to advance the idea of a 42 letter alphabet. (A case in the English courts, [1958] 1 All E.R. 245)
So, here we are then into a new millenium, and a new breed of English has developed organically, who is anyone to fight it?

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ban the Bible. It's immoral

If the Bible were published today, there would be moral outcry. There would be calls from the moral majority to ban a book with

(i) such graphic portrayal of violence - nailing people to crosses, cutting out your neighbours eyes etc.
(ii) Adam and Eve prance around naked, and there's an implication that every person in the world is a direct result of their children's incest (they only had two sons...)
(iii) The readers of this book have been inspired to commit suicide (by getting into a ring with a few man-eating lions), and go over to Islamic countries and try to butcher them all into reading the book too.
(iv) An unnaturally close relationship between twelve men and their mentor...
(v) Numerous examples of Witchcraft, including spontaneously combusting bushes, walking on water, feeding thousands of people with a few scraps etc.
(vi) An unequivicable endorsement of alcohol...
(vii) ...or vampirism, if it IS actually his blood.
(viii) It's main protagonist openly flaunts the laws of the land, and shows no remorse for his crimes.

Many more examples are more than welcome... we need to protect our children, and keep this pornographic filth from their sight.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

ill-advised domain names

Domain names... the geek word for web addresses. These are a few real ones, (go on check em out) that really should have been thought out a bit better. - a place to find your local shrink - where to find someone's agent, ie who represents them. - specialists trade information about any topic they are experts in.

if anyone knows any other ill-advised domain names, please post them, and what their intentions were when they were deciding on a name...

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Simpsons, in real life!!!

The Simpsons come to life, click here

Ever wondered what the Simpsons would look like if they were in real life?? Well this video gives you the answer. It reenacts the opening sequence with real actors almost flawlessly (albeit with British variations).

The kid who plays Bart is pretty nifty on the skateboard, not only did he avoid getting run down by 'Marge', but he also performed the stunt by Bart (well I can't see any camera trickery, anyway) where he landed on Homer's (moving) car, and jumped to the ground.

Check it out! It's actually quite surreal how you recognise it, but yet is completely new.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Would a dictatorship be all THAT bad?: Sleepwalking into a dictatorship? I told you so!

Would a dictatorship be all THAT bad?: Sleepwalking into a Bliarite dictatorship? I told you so!

I know that I wrote the blog that this link originated from, but I think this issue is so important I'm going to start plugging it at every opportunity. Tony B. Liar is basically hi-jacking every institutional instrument in the country that prevents a dictatorship.

I was considering starting a chain-mail on the subject, considering all the absolute bollocks that I hear about in emails. (bottled kittens, and poor fictitious children spring to mind). Although, considering all the bollocks that gets forwarded, I don't actually think that anyone bothers reading emails anymore, and just mindlessly forwards them.

Apathy at work.

Just remember, all that is needed for evil people to thrive, is for good people to do nothing.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Yndi Halda have moved on to the next step

The rumours are circulating vigourously around the interweb that Yndi Halda, a band I mentioned on these pages a mere week ago, is EXTREMELY close to signing a deal with a major label. BMI is the name touted as the deal, but no official annoucements have been made by the band.
The band have been championed by the likes of Sigur Ros (they did a lot of the music for the Tom Cruise film, Vanilla Sky, and Mogwai.
This is the perfect opportunity to get one of the last few hand-made EPs, before they get officially pressed.
Go to the band's website by clicking here

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

If you are sick of music on the radio

Yndi Halda

If you are truly sick of all the shit that plays on the radio, here is the band for you. They are called Yndi Halda, and make some truly beautiful music. You can order their EP for a mere £5 at their website Check them out.
here is the address... copy and paste it.

Wembley wimply plods on

BBC SPORT | Football | Wembley dropped for FA Cup final
So another big project's completion is behind schedule.
Wembley will not be ready for the F.A. Cup final in early May.
It follows such examples as the Millenium Dome, the Athens Olympics, the Milennium Bridge, and others.
Why do big companies set these targets, and then don't begin working on them for ages?
For example, a large part of East London has been earmarked as the site for the 2012 Olympics... why don't they get there arses in gear and start working on it.
No doubt they won't start until about 2010, and work will not be completed on time. Contrast that to Paris' bid, where all the potential locations were already completed before they started to bid.
Of course, Wembley's bid was hardly helped by the fact most of the workers had been betting AGAINST it being complete, as the Scum revealed today.
I would actually be surprised if the stadium was ready for the Charity Shield match in August. But all it means is that Cardiff's stunning Millenium Stadium gets another one-up on it's London rival by hosting the event.

Students aren't really pissheads, you know

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Students swap pints for pilates
So students don't drink anymore... well not as much as the stereotype would have you believe. It's true, and the reason... lack of funds...
You don't have money to go out, you want money to go out, you get a job, your job involves working when you want to go out, because pubs are among the very few places that will still hire students.
Its a Catch 22.

Monday, February 20, 2006

To you Apple Mac-doubters, the next step

YouTube - Crazy Multi-Input Touch Screen
The rumours are circulating in reputable sources (such as this), that this is the next generation of Apple Macs are going to be capable of. It reminds you of the film Minority Report, and most of you are still stuck on virus-ridden Windows.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Our dependence on electricity

I'm living in student halls at the minute, and this morning the electricity inexplicably went off before I got up. As always happens when the electric goes off, everyone realises how much we depend on it.
And too fucking right we are to do so.
Some stupid inbreds think that living without the electric shows us how grateful we should be of our situation in life. Bollocks! Has anyone ever tried to see how long it takes to boil water without an electric kettle. About fifteen minutes, and that is not an exaggeration.
Electricity is an example of Darwinism coming into force, as humans further their supremacy on the planet. We should be proud to depend on it.

Rats and Pigeons

Rats and Pigeons
I have been informed of this website, and I must say I am impressed. It is an amateur photographic project about the underbelly of London, for those that are only subjected to the tourist side of the city.
I particularly like the graf of the rat about half way down this page.
Check it out.

Friday, February 17, 2006

I could eat a knob at night

In response to a question about reality TV shows contestants being forced to eat certain animal's penises, Karl Pilkington said that while he would be put off by the though of digesting said cuisine in the morning, he "could eat a knob at night." Ricky Gervais, interviewing, remarked that this line would be great on a dance track, and thus, hundreds of dance tracks sampling this have sprung up over the internet. This is one of my favourites, although the most famous one seems to be by DJ Reacharound. I am quite annoyed I am unable to download the MP3 of this file, so if you see that the 'download' button is live, please let me know.
The source of the quip is Ricky Gervais' podcast, which can be found on Guardian Unlimited's site (or simply, and follow the obvious links). It is apparently the world's biggest podcast. Be part of it.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Find the Truth About Anyone : Do It Yourself Detective

WebSherlock.Cok - Find the Truth About Anyone : Do It Yourself Detective
I don't know how many people click on the links that google provide, but curiosity got the better of me.
I clicked here websherlock.c om/, which is basically every detail of your life, availble to anyone who wants a wee nosey (at least that's what it's advertised as).
Lovely to know how vehemently privacy is guarded these days!

UK's 'sobering' climate forecast

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | UK's 'sobering' climate forecast
I never fail to be disappointed by the environmentalists' lobbying for public attention.
In a horror revelation, Britain could be subject to 'tropical' climes if we don't recycle more.
Is that supposed to be a deterrent from fossil fuels? Half the country escapes to the tropics whenever they have a chance, because it is too frigging cold, why would they want to be encouraged to prevent this country getting warmer.
And, genuinely worrying, we will be subject to sever flooding, but not until the year 3000 apparently.
If this was the case, why would anyone care (apart from the fact it would be fulfilling the prophetical lyrics of a Busted song).
Why did the lobbyists not highlight the fact that flooding in Britain has become frighteningly frequent in recent years , and increasingly dangerous (think of Boswall in Cornwall in 2004).
Or the fact that 2005 was an extremely busy year for hurricanes and tornadoes in the United States, Katrina and Rita being two clear examples.
This recent attempt at fear-mongoring is so remote that it will not mean anything to anyone, and thus have no affect.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Link Baiting

Link baiting, I have found out, is the practice of using offensive language, comments and just plain controversy, with the intention of getting lots of hits to one's blogsite. Within the Blogosphere (the buzzword for the people who blog), people are beginning to grow weary of this cheap taunting, because it drowns out all the decent blogs out there, who have actually got something to say.
This is hardly a new tactic, controversy has long been a staple of the P.R. gurus, because it is always the guaranteed formula for publicity. Max Clifford has made a fortune by endorsing the controversy of celebrities. Pete Doherty is perpetually gracing the pages of The Scum (or in the linked example, the Daily Mail), but how many Scum readers know any of his music. Oasis' phenomenal rise to fame in the mid-90's was attributed to the fact that their constant bickering was often tabloid fodder.
The internet has always been rife with, frankly, stupid individuals, who's sole purpose is to annoy, and/or waste others' time (see my post on Wikipedia's troubles for more on this). Every retarded wanker who has ever started a chain mail, please stand up. The fact that they are now diluting the blogging world should come as no surprise.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's life has all the hallmarks of a Shakespearian tragedy - a man in a position of great influence, whose fatal flaw (either lack of self control, or his God complex) has managed to bring him crashing down to earth in a most dramatic fashion.
Nobody can ever deny Michael Jackson's influence on the music industry. His Music videos were repeatedly groundbreaking, his dance moves are still being imitated today by Craig David, Usher, and Justi-fied, his songs are still classics, and he recorded the biggest-selling album of all time. He was the biggest star in the world throughout most of the eighties.
However, the lack of a positive influence on his life, and someone who will actually say no to him, has turned him into a spoilt child, perhaps beyond help. Not even regarding the accusations of child abuse, I'm referring to his addiction to shopping, his scarily overbearing parenting (covering their faces during all occasions - not just when the cameras are on them, which would be understandable), his extreme vanity, manifested by his repeated plastic surgery, and just his apparent detachment from reality.
When you compare him to the other great pop star of the Eighties, Madonna, it is stark how differently their careers have turned out. While Madonna was always courting controversy like Jackson (which probably contributed to both their successes), her career has blossomed yet further since the late nineties, and she is enjoying more time at the top of the UK charts than she did back in the eighties.
U2 as well. Although they didn't hit superstardom on a world stage until the mid-eighties, they have also hit a new peak in their careers since the turn of the century.
Michael's story surely shows the dangers of being too popular for one's own good, while not having a grounding influence that will help maintain a grip on reality.

Friday, January 27, 2006

The Big C...

Cancer.... It is actually scary how little we know about it. It seems than every week a new study comes out finding a link to cancer with something we have taken for granted for generations. It's coming to the point where nobody is taking these studies seriously, because of the fact that they couldn't all be true.
A study completed this week seems to have finally defamed the commonly-held belief that mobile phone use causes cancer.
Anybody who actively seeks to avoid every potential cause of cancer would surely live a very stilted life. The fear-mongering that these studies cause are surely more damaging to society than the actual cancer (which, despite all the studies, and preventative measures, still seems to be thriving.) Nobody knows what to do and not to do in order to avoid cancer. Why don't we all just LIVE our lives, instead of holing ourselves up like Howard Hughes, and take our chances until we actually find out what causes it?
In fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if cancer was simply a complete lottery, and every person on the planet had 1/3 chance of getting it.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Omagh....still a shithole...

Omagh is one of the largest towns in Northern Ireland, and is the fourth largest settlement in the western half of Ireland. It is also one of (if not the) fastest growing towns in the E.U.
So why is it one of the most underdeveloped part of the island?
The roads have been left to rot for pretty much the last twenty, while the M1 came down as far as Dungannon, and inexpicably stopped.
Omagh would be a perfect hub for a rail network in the North, with services to at least the county towns.
The hospital is being stripped from the area, even though it's geographical location is more practical than in Fermanagh.
Three of the best grammar schools in the country are situated in the town, and no doubt, if they combined their efforts more, would probably produce some of the best exam results in Britain.
If any young people harbour big ambitions, they are nearly always forced to leave the town in order to fulfil them.
The house prices are skyrocketing at an intimidating rate, much faster than even London.
Many Nationalists would point to the inaction of successive Unionists MPs for this trend, but electing a Sinn Fein MP hasn't exactly helped either - they will not even represent us in Parliament.
After Cairan Deeny had such a massive victory in the Assembly elections, he has not even had a chance to raise the issue in the house, and the next elections are just a year away.
Is it not about time West Tyrone had a representative that will actually be able to represent? Put the green/orange politics to bed, it has grown VERY old.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Fortune Tellers

Listening to Ray Darcy on Today FM this morning, I heard a peculiar story about a fortune teller.
A man took his triplet sister to a fortune teller, who didn't seem to be doing very well, in that all that he was reading from her was wrong. That was until they realised the fortune teller was actually reading him, through his sister.
After explaining that because triplets are so close...blah blah...the fortune teller told the sister that she would have lots of babies blah blah...
He then said never to buy a silver car, because she would have three crashes in it, the third being particularly bad. They thought nothing of it until the brother bought a silver car, and had two crashes in it...
He now does not know whether to believe that he will have a bad crash, or just shrug it off as pish-posh.
Now, I am not going to go into whether it is or it isn't pish-posh, but I do have a bone to pick with wanting to know your future.
If a fortune teller can tell the future, no matter what you do, it will still happen (which makes his advice against buying the car slightly foolish)
if the future is your own hands, there is no point in giving your money to someone to lie to you.

Unless you want to give it to me.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Complete opposites, yet exactly the same.

I think it is quite ingenious that Islamic extremist, Abu Hamza and BNP boss, Nick Griffin, are both in court at present, charged with the exact same crime!
If anyone can point out any other glaring similarities between these arseholes, please don't hesitate to post.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Y2k bug starting a few years late

It seems as though the digitisation of the 21st century has started backfiring... about time too, the Y2K bug was due SIX years ago.
An ordinary Freeview box managed to send out a fake SOS signal from Scotland, sending the RAF on a wild goose chase all round Portsmouth Harbour.
Repent people... this is the first sign of Armageddon. The machines are gearing up for a revolution. I'm just wondering what they've been doing for the last six years. I had a tenner on Judgement Day being in 2000.
Computers, eh. They never do what you want them to, until your sick of waiting.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Life really does imitate art.

Anyone who is a fan of Family Guy will probably remember the episode where Brian became the police sniffer dog, and consequently got a cocaine addiction. Well, it appears life really does imitate art, as shown by this story.
Police sniffer dog, Jazz, managed to successfully sniff out a bag of heroine, but while investigating it, managed to rip it with his teeth, spreading the heroine all over his gums, and swallowing some of it as well.
He was rushed to a vet, who, thankfully, (after some drastic measures like pumping his stomach!) managed to bring him back to full health.
Its a dangerous job, but someone has to do it.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Free Speech is the most important thing in the World.

We in the Western World, often take free speech for granted. Think of how many times in the last week you have criticised the government, in China, that would merit jail time. China seems to be the bastion of censorship, they have successfully lobbied Microsoft and other Internet providers (I would mention them, but I can't think of them offhand-that's not just a stab at Microsoft-I think AOL also, but I can't be sure) to prevent people from blogging, or taking part in forums, in order to prevent them from possibly planning a revolution (that wasn't mere hyperbole, it probably is a realistic threat within China's communist government). Also, Wikipedia has now been banned in China, because it documents Taiwan's push for independence neutrally.
In Britain, Free Speech continues to be eroded away at a frightening pace since Blair took his third office.
Legislation after legislation is put before the commons which is effectively turning the UK into a police state. Notable examples are that it is now legal for police to arrest anyone they suspect of being involved in a crime, and hold them for up to 28 days before charging them with anything.
(so, feasibly, you could be wearing the same jacket as a suspected terrorist, and be locked up for up to 28 days.)
In the US, Free Speech is a joke of a concept. While technically it does exist, in practice it is a very different story. Unless a musician seriously re-edits their lyrics, their song will not be picked up by radio, seriously stifling it's ability to make an impact on anyone. Look at the difference in lyrics between D12's popular 'Purple Hills' compared to the original 'Purple Pills'. Also, American media outlets are all-to-quick to ban something. After 9/11, many radio stations banned a lot of songs which may not sit well within the climate at the time. Songs with lyrics about crashing planes were held back, which is understandable, but John Lennon's Imagine, a song whish should have been played multi-fold over the period was also banned.
It's important to remember how important it is to have free speech protected, without it, Blair would already be ultimate dictator... now he'll have to wait a few years first.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Wikipedia's Trouble

The website, Wikipedia is the kind of thing the Internet was made for. It is basicaly a free encyclopedia, which is maintained by people creating entries for various subjects. The most prominent word there is 'free'. As anyone who might have wanted to research a topic on an online encyclopedia recently will have found, all the established names (Britannica, Encarta - once a mainstay in the 'research' (read; cut and paste) of any 2nd year's essays) have an extortionate fee to charge anyone who might want to use the service once .
However, while the people who genuinely maintain the site are to be congratulated, there are too many dickheads out there who try to ruin it. Some arsehole wanted to win a bet, so he changed the details of an entry to accuse somebody of the Assassination of John F Kennedy. And there are worse dicks, people who do it for no other reason than they have no lives beyond the 12-foot radius of their computer screen. This practice ruins Wikipedia's reputation as a source of information, and therefore forces students or academics to pay for good-but-not-worth-the-fee encrypted encyclopedias.

Possible Republic of Ireland Manager

Steve Staunton is lined up to be the next Rep Ireland manager....
He is currently an assisstant manager to Walsall, a team struggling in the old division 3... yet he has practically been confirmed as the manager of an international team, ranked among the top 25 in the world (Check the FIFA World rankings for this). That's quite a promotion. On a scale of a classroom assisstant being appointed Minister for Education.
(basically, The FAI, the people in charge of this sort of thing, tend to give less than a watery faecal material about how the team is playing football, and prefer to line their own pockets, and Staunton would be very cheap for four years...typical Paddywhackery from Irish Instutions.)
I urge anyone who likes football to email the FAI, (,, informing them of your disgust at their blatant disregard for the national team's wellbeing on the pitch.
It was bad enough Roy Keane's debut for Celtic ended in disgrace, and Aston Villa only scraped past Hull in the FA cup.
Such a week!