Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Official Rules of Drinking Pointless

1.0 These Official Rules are not endorsed by the BBC, Alexander Armstrong¹, Richard Osman or Endemol Productions. Because they aren't cool enough.

1.1 The game is designed for two or more players, who must provide their own alcoholic beverage (henceforth known as 'the drink').

1.3 Participants play along with the original BBC 1 broadcast on weekdays at 17:15. Monday night participation, in preparation for The University Challenge Challenge, is particularly encouraged.

1.2 Participants attempt to answer the questions along with the show. If a participant correctly identifies a Pointless answer, they must consume a preagreed measurement of the drink.

2.1 After contestants on the show have provided a correct answer, there is a countdown to reveal how many of the one hundred people said the same one. Participants must attempt to guess the number of points the answer is worth.

2.1.1 If the guess is within five of the correct result, participants must consume a preagreed measurement of the drink.

2.1.2 If the guess is correct, participants must consume two preagreed measurements of the drink.

3.1 During the head-to-head round, the participant who produces the lower scoring answer, must consume a preagreed measure of the drink.

4.1 During the final, all participants may work together to produce as many Pointless answers as possible. For each Pointless answer, all participants must consume a preagreed measurement of the drink.

5.1 Bonus Drinks: The following events prompts bonus opportunities for all participants to consume a preagreed measurement of the drink.

5.1.1 If Alexander Armstrong cannot provide an answer from the remaining asnwers on the board.

5.1.2 If Richard Osman suggests that the contestants will kick, or otherwise harm, themselves. If Richard Osman says the statement, "
and by country we mean a sovereign state as recognised by the UN."²

5.1.3 If a pair of contestants join the '200 Club', where both contestants in a team provide wrong answers, thereby getting the maximum 100 points. If a pair of contestants join the '0 Club', where both contestants provide Pointless answers, thereby getting the perfect 0.

5.1.4 If a contestant is revealed to be a teacher of some description.

5.1.5 If a contestant provides the same answer as an opponent but suggests the opponent has not pronounced it correctly, just to be a twat.

5.2 If a round results in a tiebreak situation, participants must finish the rest of their drink.³

6.1 Participants must remain aware that this is the Official Rules of Drinking Pointless, and therefore may at no stage be considered 'fun'.

Suicide Rule: Partcipants must consume a measure of the drink EVERY time Alexander Armstrong says the word 'very'. Quantities of alcohol required to play this rule are usually delivered in articulated trucks, which must be provided at the participants' own expense.&sup4;

Update: Following the suggestions from commentors and tweeters, additional rules are to be applied ahead of the series that commences on Monday, 13 February 2012. These are italicised.

¹ Alexander Armstrong retweeted these very rules, so we can take it he endorses them!
² Mike in Comments
³ RoosterJones in Comments
&sup4; @desmarkie on Twitter