Microsoft manufacture rocks now.

Apparently Microsoft have been sending rocks to everyone on their mailing list. Something about not allowing software pirates to hide under them.
I won't mention the excessive wealth the company must have in order to afford such a pretentious stunt, but I have heard reports that the equipment has been known to crash unexpectedly, and is subject to dozens of viruses, and other security alerts already. Microsoft is also charging extortionate amounts for the extra software you need in order to turn said rocks into paper-weights - it's against company policy to let their hardware perform it's logical function for free.



Microsoft Stone XP 2006 Home Edition.

David Blaine, categorically not an amphibian

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Blaine fails in water record bid
So David Blaine failed in his attempt to break the World record for holding your breath underwater.
After living for a week submerged in water, he attempted the feat.
The previous record was apparently 8 minutes and 58 seconds.
However, I would like to question that statment. There are people in the Titanic who haven't breathed for 94 years.

The most exciting new release of the year?

Chart commentary - most exciting release of the year

Anyone familiar with the Dotmusic of Yore (now known as Yahoo! Music), would no doubt be aware of James Masterson's weekly column based on the latest chart. This guy seems to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the British Top 40, including it's entire history.
Every week he makes comments on the state of affairs in the charts, such as this week's biggest selling record not actually being present on any chart. Being a five track E.P., Arctic Monkeys' 'Who the fuck are the Arctic Monkeys?' is not eligible to be included in the three-track max singles chart.
However, this past few weeks, he has begun tagging up 'the most exciting release of the year,' while failing to mention what it is (this is a year that has boasted the scrumptious release of Crazy by Gnarles Barkley, so this would need to be a pretty special release indeed). It is due for release on the 22nd May.
Any speculation as to the identity of the track is most welcome.

meet me in st. louis x

meet me in st. louis x
Another band on the cusp of big things is Meet Me in St. Louis. Heavily influenced by At The Drive-In, and other bands notable for their raw energy, St. Louis have already founded quite a following for themselves. One of the striking things about the band is their practice of having extremely long names for their work, (notable examples are; 'What happened to you Dylan? you used to be someone I could trust,' 'We need to act like we don't need this shit, then they give us the shit for free')
They release their debut E.P., 'Promise Me That We'll Never Be Like Them...EP' on 29th May.
http://www.myspace.com/meetmeinstlouis

The most exciting year in British football?

Is it possible this has been the most exciting year in British football? Around October, the press were complaining about the stale quality of the matches, remarking the numerous 'bore draws', i.e. 0-0 results that didn't really produce any real incidents, including Roy Keane's last match for Man. Utd. against Liverpool.
It has become strangely unpredictable since then however.
Even before that, the European competitions were throwing up all sorts of upsets. Who would have ever predicted a Welsh English derby in the Champions League, with TNS Solutions playing Liverpool? Everton's heroics last year to earn them a place in the Champions League, was cruelly rewarded with a tough draw against Villareal, and then more tough opposition in the UEFA cup qualifiers. Celtic's early exit from the Champion's League to the unheard of Artsmedia Bratislava, (who many quipped sounded more like an advertising company, or university course than a football team), probably spurned Rangers on to being the first Scottish team to emerge from the group stage of the competition, again twarted by Villareal. In the actual competition Liverpool and Chelsea were drawn together in the same group, and both qualified, much to the envy of Man Utd, who were the second British victims of Villareal, when they finished last in their group, thus not even having the consolation of the UEFA cup.
Domestically, in England, Chelsea looked set to run away with the Premiership by Christmas, but in the end up, they only won it with two games to spare.
Wigan, who five years ago, were in the third league, have maintained a top-half position throughout the season, and put on a spirited performance in the League Cup Final.
The F.A. Cup has also gone the way of the romantics, with West Ham making it to the Final, and Liverpool's defeat of Chelsea put the thoughts of a double to the dumpyard.
In the Scottish Cup, Celtic were knocked out of the third round by Clyde, and their Old Firm rivals Rangers didn't even get to the quarter finals. The two big Edinburgh battled it out for the place in the final, and their opponents are Second Division Gretna.
Despite Hearts disgraceful record of employment with their managers this season, they are still clinging on to the second Champion's League spot.
Middlesbrough having twice scored the four goals that they needed have got through to the UEFA Cup final, and Arsenal's team of youngster's have pushed aside a who's who of Europeaen football to make the Champion's League final, setting a record of clean sheets in the competition while they're at it.
So, potentially, should the two English sides win the European cups, every cup that's available to British clubs, with the exception of the Scottish League Cup, will be going to a different team.
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Of course, I failed to mention the Championship, which was won by Top-Flight virgins Reading, who have broken a series of records by winning it. The earliest team to ever secure promotion to the Premiership, and this weekend set a new points record of 106, after defeating Q.P.R. on the last day of the season.